Went to school today :D. My mood is much lifted after getting out finally. I think I'm gonna see that movie black swan on friday too. I want spring!! The weather was fairly nice today, although a little windy and it makes me want that all the time! I put together my Karnival costume too. I just wanted something simple that I could make out of my own clothes. Cheap ya know? So I'm gonna wear all black, do my hair and makeup all crazy, wear alot of glitter, and a pair of cat ears. It works. I managed to cover almost all of my body and tried to make a point of being modest but still stylish and costumy looking :). I'm pretty proud to say I think I pulled it off. My host mom thought it was so cute :D.

Woke up early and went to church today. It was the big catholic one in borken. Maria got to be part of the service. I got alot of dirty looks from the old people all around though. Cause i didn't know all the chants or when to cross myself or kneel. But it was ok. Gave me time to think and pray to myself instead of with the congregation. It feels more real and meaningful that way anyway. The communion tasted like styrofoam.... but thats ok. I took it and that seemed to make my host mom happy. Cause she really stressed that I didn't have to. But I mean she stressed that I didn't have to go to church too. I did because I wanted to. And I'll probably go again next sunday if I can. I don't necissarily agree with the catholic ways but it at least gave me some time to think and pray in a church setting. The church was beautiful...

Slept in really late today on accident. I just kinda passed out. But i think it was for the best. I feel alot better since. Like my throat hasnt been hurting today and such. But I have been coughing more which isnt fun. Maria is going to a party tonight. I was originally gonna go with her, but I can't. I'm sick and the doctor said not to play sports or party for a few days or whatever. Besides that I've just been hanging out and watching movies with maria all day. not very active, but nice all the same. good for recovering.

Went to the doctor today. Amazing how completely vague a doctor can be. oh you have a viral infection. Thanks genius. I feel like poo so can you please tell me whats really wrong? I told him theres a big possiblity I have bronchitis again. But after everything he still said viral infection. Then proceeded to write me a prescription for two antibiotics to take three times a day. How that would help a virus? i dont know. But once I looked at the boxes later I realized they were for chronic bronchitis and sinuses... guess he was just too prideful to admit that a patient was right or something. idk. The other strange thing, he lifted up my shirt to examine me. I've never had a doctor do that before. It was totally weird. But apparently normal here in germany. I mean my host mom and secretary were there so its ok...but freaked me out for a split sec.

Still sick. Still completely miserable. I've now been sick for five days. Today was my breaking point. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. Appointment at 11.30. they were somehow completely booked today. Guess theres only one doctors office in Borken or something. I'm so tired...but going to bed early doesn't help anything...I just lay there not able to sleep and sweating or shivering. Depending on the hour. You know whats humiliating? Not being able to stand long enough to put on your own pants. Maria had to help.... I've never been so weak and hopeless in my life I swear. I just wanna be better now.

Just woke up and it was three in the afternoon. But that's probably good cause I haven't gotten one our of good sleep in days. I've been a zombie. Finally I decided to take some ibuprofen and slept amazing. No more on and off hot and cold extremes or shivering or nightmares. It was great. So I ended up sleeping 17 hours. And I really feel so much better. Not sure if that is still the meds working or if this has helped my sickness go away alot...but either way its progress. I didn't go to school today. My host mom called them this morning. Last night we decided it was best for me to not go and that way I can at least have a day where I sleep and try to recover before it gets worse. Yesterday it took all of my energy just going up the stairs to get to class. Its only two flights.

aww!! Congrats Becca!!! I bet you are so proud of yourself and you should be. And no way! lol thats the first time ive actually stayed up all night here. all the other nights were just kinda late. I think I'm kinda sick. sleepless nights, shivering, throat hurts, no hunger, etc. not fun. But I got through it today cause i needed to go to my rotary meeting and my deutsch lesson. But thats about all for today.