Still sick. Still completely miserable. I've now been sick for five days. Today was my breaking point. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. Appointment at 11.30. they were somehow completely booked today. Guess theres only one doctors office in Borken or something. I'm so tired...but going to bed early doesn't help anything...I just lay there not able to sleep and sweating or shivering. Depending on the hour. You know whats humiliating? Not being able to stand long enough to put on your own pants. Maria had to help.... I've never been so weak and hopeless in my life I swear. I just wanna be better now.